I always knew it would be like this
by Endraking
Summary: AU. One Shot. Warning Allusion to Character Death; Terminal Illness. Follows Cannon through Season 3. What if Stiles did suffer from and eventually die from FTD. Stiles spends his last months with Derek.


**I don't own Teen Wolf**

 **Warning: Contains allusion to character death; Terminal Illness**

I Always Knew It Would End Like This

Senior year finished in May and Stiles stared at the ceiling of his room as the shadows of the dark played in his mind. He took a deep breath as his thoughts bounced around in his head, the most prominent being that he made it to adulthood. He blinked back a tear at the thought that his adulthood would be marked by a very adult decision that he made. He reached over to grab the glass of water that he set on the nightstand before he laid down only to finally notice the other presence in the room. He glanced over at the dark figure that stood near him but seemed to just watch him.

In a familiar angry tone the man said, "You are a horrible liar."

Stiles' eyes adjusted to the darkness and he recognized the all-too-familiar scowl of his favorite Sourwolf. As he attempted to sound nonchalant he said, "Derek, what do you mean I'm a horrible liar? I'm-m-m" he stopped speaking, partially to catch himself and partly due to his new found embarrassment of how his body fought against him and showed its defiance in new ways.

Derek stated, "How long have you known?"

Stiles fought back the lump in his throat and the thought of continuing the farce crossed his mind but secure in the knowledge that his friends, the school age ones, had already done their hail and farewells to their new college lives, he relented. "H-h-honestly, shortly after the Nogitsune."

Even in the dark he could see the narrowed eyes of Derek shift to wide eyed disbelief and he knew he heard the hint of pleading when Derek said, "And you just let everyone leave? Didn't say anything about it?"

Stiles bit his lip as he fought against the muscle spasm, which must've only partially worked since Derek stepped closer to see if he was alright. He grabbed the water and took a sip before he said, "Wh-wh-what did you expect? I knew wh-wh-what it would do to everyone, to Scott."

Derek's eyes flashed blue as his rage grew. He said, "We can help you."

Stiles drank more of the water before he set the glass on the nightstand. He slid up against his pillow and brought himself to sit up. His head swam from the movement and he couldn't decide whether it was the meds or his condition that was screwing with his equilibrium. In a tone far too cold for his typical response he said, "Sometimes we just lose."

Derek kneeled by the bed to look Stiles in the eye, "Why don't you accept the bite?"

Stiles looked into Derek's eyes and saw the desperation, saw the loss of his old friends and family, but also saw them race with the idea of losing someone else. He said, "I-I-I couldn't d-do it. I fought so many times with myself about telling Scott. Every time I came up with the same answer. No."

Completely frustrated Derek stood up and said, much louder than he meant" So that's it, you are just giving up?"

Stiles cleared his throat and pondered exactly how he wanted to say what he needed to say. He took a deep breath and willed his body to actually let himself finish what he needed to say before it robbed his dignity again. "When everyone saved me from the Nogitsune it acted as a catalyst for my condition. Worse than that, it accelerated it. After my dad took me to see the specialist, just in case, we found out the truth. Maybe it's karma, maybe something else but by the time I finished weighing out my moral struggle, I probably wouldn't have survived the bite anyway."

Derek nodded and walked over to Stiles' bed and sat in the open space next to Stiles' legs. He stared at the floor as he asked in a meek voice, "How long?"

Stiles shrugged and fought against the involuntary muscle spasm, "Months, maybe a year."

Stiles noticed Derek nod slightly and fight back the difficult emotions that dwelled deep beneath his wolf man bravado. Stiles mustered the energy and leaned forward, placing his hand against Derek's back. He rubbed the wolf's upper back through his Henley as he said, "It'll be alright."

Derek quickly turned to face Stiles with his usual scowl and said, "You don't plan on telling the pack, do you?"

Stiles half smiled and said, "I didn't tell you. Speaking of which, how did you figure it out?"

Derek smirked, "Adding small amounts of monkshood to your body wash. You covered your scent."

Stiles laughed a little before his mind once again swam and he leaned back against his pillow and the wall, "Here I thought I was still being clever."

Derek smiled through the pain and said, "Actually, that was clever."

Stiles sighed and asked, "Are you going to tell them, th-the pack?"

Derek shook his head, "No, it's not my place."

Stiles nodded and fought against the involuntary spasm and said, "Thanks." He swallowed the lump of guilt and asked, "So what are you doing for the next months to a year?"

"Helping a friend."

Summer gave way to autumn and Derek's presence became familiar at the Stilinski household. Besides the regular visits to the doctor and the subsequent visits to the pharmacy, everything appeared somewhat normal, even happy at the Stilinski house.

Derek and Stiles sat at the dinner table with quite possibly the largest spread of curly fries and burgers that Beacon Hills had ever seen. This was a night of celebration as the wheelchair was being punished in the study for once again being needless. The two young men munched on fries before Derek broke the light hearted revelry.

"Have you told Melissa yet?"

Stiles shook his head and only meant to shake it normally but the spasms were worse now and it almost appeared childish in the jerking motion. "No b-b-but I think dad has. Wh-when he isn't at-t-t work or here he spends time with her."

Derek nodded and said, "He has been working a lot lately."

Stiles looked at Derek and slightly tilted his head with a brow raised as he said, "I-I-I am just glad he isn't-t-t drinking. He's been down this road before. I-I-I just want him to be ha-happy."

Derek furrowed his brow as if he was trying to ask something before Stiles cut his train of thought, "He's around when I'm a-a-alone. I me-mean when you aren't here."

Derek pondered the thought as Stiles munched down part of a hamburger. He reached over to grab his drink and lost control of his arm and knocked it over. Derek quickly jumped up and grabbed napkins and towels to clean up the mess. Derek looked over at Stiles as he felt the waves of anger and frustration. "Messes happen"

Stiles looked at Derek and smiled, "I-I-I guess s-s-so."

Derek stood up and looked at Stiles, "When do you plan on telling the pack?"

Stiles sighed before he said, "When they c-c-come h-h-home for winter break. I-I-I should tell them in person."

Derek nodded and finished cleaning up the mess. Stiles asked weakly, "I-I-I'm not feeling t-t-too great right now, c-c-can I go for a drive, I-I-I mean to my room?" Derek tossed the trash in the bin and nodded. He felt the anger come from the young man and knew that his thoughts were becoming more garbled.

Stiles stood up slowly and began to walk towards the living room. Derek followed closely behind him and watched as the young man's legs struggled to hold up his frame. He knew that muscle weakness and degeneration were another way this disease crippled its victims but each successful step allowed a little happiness for the wolf.

Stiles made it to through the living room and to the stairs before he started to grow hesitant in his steps. He took the first step and started to fall backwards but was gently caught and held up by the steady hands of the wolf. Stiles said, in a defeated tone, "I-I-I guess I-I-I still need the chair."

Derek muttered, "No. Climb the stairs. You did it earlier."

Stiles began to argue, "B-but." He was quickly cut off, "I'm right here. You won't fall but you are going to climb these steps."

Stiles took a deep breath and fought against his body once more. He made it up three steps before he swayed and Derek once again steadied him. After a few more he felt his left knee give out but he was quickly caught by Derek. After several minutes of leaning against Derek he fought the rest of the way up the stairs. When he made it to the top he fell against the wall though Derek kept him from getting hurt. Stiles looked back at Derek, "I-I-I made it up the stairs."

Derek smiled proudly and picked Stiles up like a child. He carried Stiles into his room and laid him down on his bed. Derek pulled the computer chair around and sat down next to the bed. Almost instinctually he set out a few pills from their bottles and placed them on the nightstand next to the sports bottle full of water. Stiles grabbed the pills and the water and took them with a sizeable gulp of water.

After he set the water bottle down he began to say, "Der-Der-Der." Stiles facial expression shifted to anger as he realized how difficult it was becoming for him to say Derek's name. Almost instinctually, Derek said, "You can call me Der, Cora used to call me that when we were little."

Stiles looked at Derek, his expression quickly shifted to a small smile as relief and gratitude flowed from the young man. "Der, thank you."

Derek shrugged, "Your welcome, it's just a name."

Stiles shook his head, "No, f-f-for being here. Y-y-you don't have to."

Derek scowled at Stiles, which evoked a smile from the young Stilinski, "I'm here because I want to be here."

Stiles smiled softly as he struggled to sit up. Derek moved to help but was slapped away by Stiles. When Stiles sat up he leaned forward and hugged the wolf. Derek's eyes shot wide open from surprise but it only took a second for him to return the embrace. Derek felt Stiles struggle to speak but clearly heard the whispered message:

"Thank you for being such a great friend."

Things began to take a serious turn for the worse in the weeks and month that followed. Stiles spent more time in the hospital and even though Stiles staunchly opposed telling the rest of the pack, Melissa and John contacted his friends at their respective schools. They arranged things for everyone to come see him at Winter break like Stiles originally planned. The weeks leading up to the break only brought more misfortune. Stiles lost the ability to walk and was having more difficulties in his speech and his thoughts grew more incoherent. The doctors released Stiles from the hospital with an aide, who checked up on him daily. Many days Derek was frustrated from trying to help Stiles, not because he was helping but because he felt absolutely useless in his friend's care. Most days Stiles struggled to move or speak and he didn't make sense. Occasionally there were times where he was lucid and Derek could see the real Stiles fight through the illness. These times gave Derek solace for being Stiles' emotional support.

A week before the break, Stiles had a lucid day.

"H-h-he's drinking again."

Derek looked away from the TV, which was playing Star Wars, and looked at his friend's face. He said, "He isn't."

Stiles met Derek's gaze and said, "Der, you are a horrible liar."

Derek raised an eyebrow and said, "Isn't this back to where we started?"

Stiles laughed, a sight that Derek hadn't seen in weeks which caused him to smile. "I-I-I guess it-t-t is Sourwolf."

Derek responded, "You haven't called me that in a long time."

Stiles smiled, "Nope"

Derek rolled his eyes, "Back to making jokes?"

Stiles nodded a little, taking extra care to control his movements, and said, "I-I-I think we-we-we are changing roles."

Derek furrowed his brows in confusion and asked, "What do you mean?"

Stiles smiled a toothy smile and said, "Y-Y-You talk, I m-m-make jokes."

Derek smiled a little, he realized the truth in Stiles' comment since talking had become so difficult for him that Derek had, by default, spoke considerably more. He countered, "But you've always made the jokes."

Stiles laughed a little, which shook his fragile frame more than he expected, "S-so have y-y-you Der."

Derek smirked, "What do you mean?"

Stiles fought the muscle weakness and lack of control to do his best werewolf movement as he said, "T-t-tear y-y-your thro-throat out, w-w-with my t-t-teeth." He ended it by laughing.

Derek's face grew beet red as he responded, "I was serious."

Stiles rolled his eyes, "S-s-sure you w-w-were."

Derek shook his head, "I guess some things never change."

Stiles quickly responded, "L-l-like this mo-movie. Can we w-w-watch something else? You always put th-th-this on."

Derek raised an eyebrow, "I thought this was your favorite movie?"

Stiles nodded, "Y-y-yeah but you should choose something y-y-you want. I'm St-st-star Wars'd to d-d-death."

Stiles immediately regretted using the word death because he watched Derek's expression shift from light hearted fun to wracked with pain in a matter of seconds. He said, "I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry. Bad word."

Derek fought back the well of emotion that threatened to overwhelm him as he picked up the remote and cut off the TV. He stood up and sat down at the foot of Stiles' bed and slid until his back rested against the wall. He looked over to Stiles and said, "I've decided."

Stiles sounded confused from the context as he said, "Wh-wh-what are w-w-we watching?"

Derek smiled, "Watching? Each other. Talking to each other. It's been a while since we've had a good conversation."

Stiles forced a smile, "Y-y-you kn-kn-know I'm kinda sl-slow sp-speaking now."

Derek smirked, "So you are finally speaking to where people can keep up?"

Stiles laughed and once he did Derek caught the infectious nature of the laugh. When Stiles finished laughing he said, "H-H-How about we just as-as-ask each other que-questions that the other has to answer completely truth-th-fully?"

Derek smirked, "Truth or dare without the dare, alright you ask first."

Stiles grabbed his sports bottle of water and took a sip before he asked, "Wh-why did y-you come to my r-r-room th-the night I t-t-told you?"

Derek nodded, "You know that, because of the monkshood."

Stiles raised an eyebrow, "Comp-complete truth."

Derek sighed, "Alright, I wanted to say goodbye before you left for college. I spoke with some of the pack but I hadn't seen you."

Stiles fought back a grin, "I-I-I knew it-t-t. Sof-fty. Your-r turn."

Derek took a breath and thought for a moment before he asked, "Since we first met, you have always talked back, made jokes and threw your opinion at me, why?"

Stiles smiled, "Cause I-I-I didn't believe your act, tough g-g-guy."

Derek shook his head and laughed, "That makes one of us. Your turn."

Stiles asked, "Why'd y-y-you take Scott under-er-er your wing?"

Derek smirked, "That's easy, because he was young and dumb. Just like I was at his age."

Stiles fought back a laugh, "I t-t-totally knew it."

Derek raised his brow, "Why'd you ask then?"

Stiles smiled, "Confirma-mation. Your turn."

Derek grinned as the perfect question came to mind, "What are you thinking, right now?"

Stiles smirked, "Th-that I am t-talking to a p-person who doesn't know h-how to p-play this g-game."

Derek grinned more as he heard the Stiles sarcasm he hadn't in a while, "Your turn."

"Alright s-smart guy, w-why don't y-you ever use the f-front door?"

Derek laughed, "I use the front door."

Stiles rolled his eyes, "Really?"

Derek nodded and said, "Because I can enter other ways. Practice and training."

Stiles' face lit up with a mischievous grin, "I-I bet you w-were a h-hellion as a teen. A teen wolf." He giggled a little as he thought of Derek as a confused teen wolf.

Derek smirked as he tilted his head to the side, "You've seen my arrest record. I think you already know the answer."

Stiles regained his composure and said, "Y-your turn."

Derek took a deep breath as he thought of the one question that has bothered him the entire time he has been helping take care of Stiles. He began, "If you don't want to answer this question, you don't have to."

Stiles immediately cut in, "J-just ask"

"Why didn't you want the pack to stay or come see you before they left? I know college is part of it and you didn't want them to try something supernatural but there has to be more."

Stiles gaze shifted from Derek's face to the comforter. He weakly tried to grab it as the muscles in his hands refused to comply. He knew he couldn't fight back the tears, not anymore and not with the friend who sacrificed so much to make this time, his time left bearable, if not enjoyable at some times. His eyes filled with tears as he quietly spoke, exerting more control over his words than he ever had, "I wanted them to remember me as they knew me. N-not how my illness knows m-me now."

The truth and depth of the words struck Derek. The entire time he spent with Stiles that thought hadn't crossed his mind. He thought Stiles was being a coward by refusing to tell and let them help but he now understood that Stiles was desperately trying to be a fighter and not a victim in their eyes. Derek slid up the side of the bed and wrapped his arms around Stiles' frail body. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

Stiles looked up at Derek and said, "Y-y-you w-w-were curious. I-I-I n-needed to t-t-tell you anyway."

"You know you are still the same strong fighter you have always been."

Stiles laughed a little, "I-I-I didn't ask f-f-for an O-Oprah moment."

Derek couldn't help but laugh.

Stiles leaned his weight against Derek's torso and whispered, "L-love you Der."

"Love you too."


End file.
